Sunday, March 19, 2017

Magic Peas

Last week Deb bought me some Channa which is dried and roasted chickpeas with just the right salt and pepper. A very tasty snack. I couldn't eat enough of them. In fact I ate the whole jar in 2 nights. What I didn't know was they are magic peas! Yep, super high in fiber and I am talking very. high. fiber. No fiber pills for me. I'm eating Channa! Deb, buy some more!

This week Deb bought another bottle of Channa. I grabbed a handful and munched away with a happy face. My happy Channa face soon turned red because the channa was 3rd degree burning my mouth! HOT HOT! What the hell? There is nothing on the label that says hot. Deb said it's the same one she bought last time. Damn. I had major hiccups. Damn that's fking hot Channa!

I ate them anyway. Sure they were hot but I liked it. I ate half the bottle. You kind of get used to the flame after a bit. Then bed time came around. I read for a while then closed my eyes. Burning. My stomach is burning. Oh god. My eyes sprung open and I went for some water. I drank a half gallon and it still burned. It burned all damn night and I swear I could feel that chickpea lava work it's way all down the pipe while I lay under a hatch in the salon swearing at myself for eating those god damn things. Oh the pain.

After sweating it out for hours I finally went back to bed. I think I nodded off after a half hour and then - Oh no. The chickpeas want to leave. But, but it's 3 am!

[insert imagined TMI]

After wiping...the tears from my eyes I was ready to finally get some sleep. Ahh, sleep.

BEEP BEEP BEEP!! The alarm went off at 5 am so I can get ready to make the bus to the farmers market in Port of Spain. Ah crap. I got up and made some tea and got dressed. I sipped my tea with half open eyes and after fifteen minutes of  I went to the stern to lower the dinghy. Uh Oh. Oh no. Channa Lava! I ran back to the head.

Screw the farmers market. Saturday was a long day. I kept falling asleep and waking up with a burning lower half. It was better laying down than sitting. It didn't help that Friday was St Patty's day and I may have tipped a few extra brews. Deb reminded me that I only ate Channa for dinner so my stomach was filled with flaming hot chickpeas in a beer stew. Not too smart.

I'm better now. Today was good and healthy. I took Deb in to get laundry done while I put water in the tanks. On the way to get Deb I found the old crushed jar of the 1st purchase of Singh's Whole Channa laying in the dinghy. The label was green though. The last one Deb bought is red. Same brand. AH HA! Red means hot!? WTF. It should say HOT on the label! I don't know. I'm gonna buy a green label tomorrow and see.

On a historical note: Channa was the go to snack at movie theaters in Trinidad up until recently. You would buy it from carts outside and bring it in to munch on while watching a movie. I would love to munch on Channa instead of popcorn at the movies though I would have been the one with the hiccups down in front saying, "Shit, these are the hot ones!" while I slurped all my drink and crunched the ice to cool off. Shhh! Quiet please - they would have whispered. "Some people are such flaming assholes."

Eat, drink and be regular.

There is good magic and there is bad. Look for the green label.

Looks harmless

posted from Bloggeroid