Friday, September 29, 2017

Things they never told us - Blogs Die and there will be Naked People

"I got up early today. I washed my face, had some tea and read a book. The rain stopped and we went someplace. See pics"

When you read something like that you know the blog is dead. The blogger has no will to type anything of any worth or interest to anyone. The comment section is dead aside for some Ad selling cream to boost your manhood. How does this happen? They were so interesting at one time? Well, as far as I can tell life for them has become routine and there isn't much to write home about. If you are sailing around the Islands for a few years the pictures become the same and the people and boats become the same. Pretty soon your blog posts all become the same.

"Here's a photo of the mango tree on the hill along the way to Customs for the third time. Here's me holding up a mango next to my big head. I have a different hat this year."

When it gets to this point and even your wife stops reading the blog then it might be time to sail someplace different or to maybe get out more and do some different things like visit another mango tree.

It's not a mango next to my big head but if you see this pic again
next season with a different shirt then the blog is dead.

I have seen many blogs fade away like this. Some blogs I used to follow are now years old and you wonder if they died or drowned. No, they just got bored telling you the same old shit all the time or they moved to facebook to post one picture and a few words. WELL, this will not happen here. Even if we, the crew of Kelly Nicole become too boring to write about I will just make shit up.

"As we teetered on the edge of the volcano after sneaking around the barriers I stopped to take a photo of our travelling companions who were excited to be reviving their blog with a volcano pic. Out of nowhere a goat came flying into my view and knocked Gregorio into the volcano! He clung to the edge on a branch coughing until one of his Keens started melting giving him the strength to pull himself up enough for us to grab him! The goat was lost in a quick puff of smoke and a final half bleat."

See how easy that was?

I hope it doesn't come to that (maybe it has). There is enough going on in this cruising life to at least entertain the few people that still have me in their feed reader. By the way, thanks for the comments and letting me know you are still here. The best blogs are the few you visit but really don't know why. It's like something bad you don't want to see but can't stop looking. This is that blog.

So now that you know I will be around for a while let's talk about naked people. I really just added "Naked People" to the title to get you to visit the blog one more time and I think it worked but now I am feeling a bit guilty about that little trick so let's do a few paragraphs related to full exposure cruising.

Before we cruised we experienced nakedness while sailing the Great Lakes. The French Canadians love to get naked and jump in the water. Great Lakes water is cold. Cold water has a negative affect on impressiveness. The people did not care. At first it was a shocking reaction on both parties. "Shit! This water is cold!" (Merde! Cette eau est froide!) and "Holy shit those people are naked!". You try not to stare but you do. Then they stare back. Then you look away. Then you see them in the bar. Awkward. Now we see so many people naked that it's to the point where I might say, "Balls overboard!" or "Floating wrinkles!" and no one really cares or looks and we carry on. Amazing what you get used to but you have to because there are so many naked people around.

As soon as we see a German flag arrive we know they will be naked as soon as the anchor is set. The French pour wine first, then get naked. Americans? They hardly ever take their shirts off let alone pants. I can't get into every nations full exposure habits when in harbour because I would get into trouble. You never know who's reading and I don't need boats sailing past KN mooning me or showing me their junk in retaliation. There are some highlights in Naked People sightings though that need to be mentioned.

One day working on the bow I heard splashing water and thought some fish was feeding alongside. No, it was a naked guy snorkeling past the boat. Startling image when you're not expecting it. Before I looked away he did a back stroke to say "Hello". Thanks pal. Awkward wave. He continued to swim alongside all the boats at anchor.

One calm morning I made some coffee and grabbed the tablet for some reading in the cockpit to watch the sun rise. I made myself comfortable and as I took the first sip my eyes met the eyes of a large older hairy dude on the stern of the boat next to us covered in soap and completely naked. I nodded "Good Morning" and then realized he was soaping his dong. Yes, he was actively and in my opinion enjoying too much the soaping of his dong. I spun around fast enough to spill some coffee and decided the sun rise was not that important today. He actually started singing softly as I started laughing quietly until I heard a big splash. Not wanting to stick around for the rinse and dry cycle I went below to get another cup.

The worst is when you drive by in the dinghy and slow down to say hello then realize too late that it's bath time. Sorry, have a nice day. Don't forget behind the ears.

I guess I didn't expect all these naked bodies next to us in these harbors. The large yacht full of naked super models has not shown up yet so I just ignore all the splashing, giggling and soap bubbles now. It's just become the normal with the exception of naked snorkeling. Some day I may join them (Deb says please no) and see what that freedom feels like in the water. For now I will keep my pants on and rest assured there will be no soapy dongs on our stern. No place to sit on our transom anyway.

Thanks for reading and hanging in there.

Guitar work continues. Sporadic at times but I see improvement. Not ready for public humiliation.

Monday, September 25, 2017


Anyone here? Thinking about blogging again and I wanted to see if anyone was still watching.

We are sitting on the boat in the yard in a marina in Chaguaramas Trinidad. The rain keeps falling which makes work difficult so I thought I might type a few words and see if this sticks. The whole facebook adventure is giving me a fucking migraine. I like posting to the Kelly Nicole page, that's alright but my personal page is just too mind altering to observe on a daily basis. It reminds me of little kids playing soccer (football) and the whole bunch of them just follow the ball around the field. You get the topic of the day on FB and the whole lot of my friends just beat it to death with witty and not so smart comments that go on forever. They just go around in circles arguing and never scoring a point. It's tiring.

So, from now on I am looking at FB only to see if my peeps have posted anything of any substance and then I will glance at the news of the day to make sure missles are not raining down and then I will write. I will play guitar after I write. Then, I will do boat projects. This will last until we launch and then things will change a bit because anchoring and all that brings on new schedules.

I had this feeling the other day (completely off topic. Was there a topic?) that we are socially inept and that our introverted selves from years past have come back in force (quietly taken over). Not sure why this is. I find myself saying the wrong things to people or while talking to them I see the WTF look on their faces and start thinking that I am maybe a crazy person. Speaking just for myself mind you. Debra is a very quiet person but when out on her own she tells me of people she meets and conversations she has. Huh. Could it just be me? Has facebook ruined me? Every time I am out on my own I meet nutty people. Nutty in a good way mostly but sometimes nutty fruitcake scary. Like the time I gave a dinghy ride to a sailor to his boat to feed his starving kitty. Guy was illegal and the authorities impounded his boat. I had no idea. Here I am pulled alongside his boat as he unloads shit (probably drugs) from his boat into my dinghy. Never did see his fucking cat. So I get some free time and I make a friend with a sketchy French guy/drug dealer who offered me Quaker Oatmeal for helping him. We poured out the oatmeal into the bay thinking it was mostly cocaine. I wonder what ever happened to that guy. I'm like a damn magnet for weirdos.

So, with all my time spent with weirdos maybe I'm one of them now. Geez. Can I survive without a social life? Will it be a social life with fellow weirdos? Not worried about Debra, she'll be fine. I'm a talker. What the hell am I gonna do? Deb can only take so much chatter and then I will have to go out there and...
make friends?


Good to be back writing weird shit again. I think. I have a Morning Tea post almost ready to go. I'm slow. Too much time on Facebook and not alone with my keyboard...or making friends, or even talking to people offline.
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