Sunday, January 20, 2008

The Off Season

I get so bummed out at the end of sailing season. It's not so much about the fact that it will be eight long cold months before I sail again. It's the other things I have to do, when I'm not working on, or sailing a boat. Wallpaper. That's right. Wallpaper. I hate it. Let me go on record here, and say that " If my wife ever decides to put up more wallpaper, I will leave her." I would rather go through a root canal, than remove wallpaper. I would rather have a dentist clamp my mouth open, drill boring holes through my roots, and stick thin metal files in there, and scrape out the remainder of my nerve endings for hours on end, than remove wallpaper. I have a love hate relationship with the machine to the left. I love the fact that it removes the wallpaper with ease. I hate the fact that I have to use it. The vinyl come off easy. The paper backing scrapes off easily too. But nothing, and I mean nothing, will fully remove the goo. You ever paint over the glue? You can't. The paint will separate like oil in water. I have to remove all the glue, before I can paint. Goo on my hands, the scraper, the floor, my shoes, my hair. It sticks to everything. Why must she torture me so. I know... I'll pretend I'm scraping the bottom of the boat, getting her ready for the season. The sun is shining, and the birds are chirping, the sanders are spinning. People with tyvek suits, goggles, beers, and good stories to tell, all working hard at something they love. Three more months, three more months... My tooth hurts.