Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Ten Years

I just noticed my blog is over ten yrs old. Wow! Over ten years of nonsense written down and published for the World (10 people) to see. It's been a long run of odd ramblings. I understand that I might be a little different than your average sailing blogger. That's OK. I wasn't going to be a blogger who documents our every experience every day. That's just not me. When some weird or peculiar thing happens to us then I will publish, or if I find the need to dump the random thoughts in my head, as in the Morning Tea posts. There is usually no lack of material to write about because I am very much a weirdo magnet. Not sure why but if there is someone strange in the area they will find me and talk to me. This magnetism has led to many blog postings. There are also complete fabrications that started with some small grain of truth in them like when I burned down a row of boats in the marina. I had to go back and edit the damn post so people would stop emailing me.

Here is the link: My Last Post. Goodbye.

I also noticed I picked on religion a bit over the years. I have no problem with God. It's her fan club I don't care for. For anyone who read the blog over all these years you probably know I'm not a very religious person.

I was such a poser. After the photo I wore the rosary on my head
and the bow tie was a mustache. On the way home I tossed a cherry bomb
through the front door of a funeral parlor. "Loud enough to wake the dead"
I said. To this day I worry I gave someone a heart attack with that stunt.

I might be more like a Pagan only without the creepy rituals. Actually I don't fit any spiritual mold. I have a feeling we're here and gone, just life and then atoms scattered into the universe. If we didn't worry so much about where we're going maybe we would take better care of where we are.

Reincarnation would be cool as long as I don't come back as a bug or anything that eats bugs, or a Horse. Holy shit imagine me coming back as a horse! No doubt I would be a pony. Deb says more like a Jack Ass.

Slipping into other dimensions would be completely awesome as long as you knew you were continuing life in another dimension. Maybe you get a glimpse of your other lives just before you wink out in one dimension and then you continue on in another. Like a collective conscious of your previous lives.

In other dimensions you made different choices. Maybe I chose not to ride my bike down the driveway into the path of a Chrysler thereby not missing third grade which helped me become a math genius and I grew into my head size and was now over six feet tall. I sell my tech company and retire early to a horse farm where my wife raises champions and I run the Church of Equine Spirit when not on TV as the New Bozo the Clown kids show host which got cancelled after I got elected to office and eventually became President. I destroyed the economy for lack of wars and became labeled the Clown in the White House which pissed me off so I resigned on the white house lawn dressed as Bozo and flipping off the public.

Flipping off the public didn't sit well with the Church of Equestrian Spirit members and soon it went bankrupt which lead to a divorce and half my income. As I leave the white house for the last time someone takes a shot at me with a crossbow because I banned guns and the arrow pierces my rubber nose and my brain. I become a martyr for the Clown Wars which divide the country into Red States and Clown States. Eventually the Bozo Republic is formed and prospers for a few years only to become a failed state because they were just a bunch of fucking clowns after all.

Maybe we're just bio robots programmed to rape the planet for our alien overlords but something went wrong. Maybe our overlords were sucked into a black hole and we were left to ourselves with no more firmware updates so we just kept raping the planet until we killed it and ourselves. We're basically proof that artificial intelligence is bad if left unchecked.

You may have also noticed I go off the rails from time to time exploring loosely related subject matter :D

OK back to the blog...
This blog covered many of our sailing mishaps and adventures. The mishaps continue and the adventures are a little less dramatic and infrequent. Is this because I'm getting older and boring? I don't know. I think it's because we are just enjoying where we are right now. We island hop and pretty much see the same stuff with some new experiences sprinkled in here and there. Maybe we need new adventures. There is still talk of sailing west to the ABC's and beyond but we're not ready. For many years I dreamt of sailing the Caribbean chain of windward and leeward islands and I'm not ready to move on. Still so much to see here. Maybe some day if the mood strikes us we will venture westward. Maybe we will head back to the States from here. We really have no plans anymore other than relaxing in the islands and spending time with the kids and grand kids back home. The pull on the heart strings is strong. I realize this is the so called "downfall" of a lot of cruisers with kids. We take it day to day. Some days I want to fly home and scoop up those kids and hug them all day long. Other days I'm floating beneath a waterfall or watching the sun set over the warm waters of the Caribbean sea. It's a balance. When the balance shifts we will make other plans but for now Latitude 43 is still a sailing adventure blog. OK maybe sometimes it's a sailing adventure blog and then sometimes it's a "What's wrong with him?" blog. Either way it's been fun writing stuff here.

 Read about Frenchy and his "kitty" here: Weirdo magnet in action.

Before I go and leave the blog for possibly another few weeks I would just like to say thanks for following along. I never anticipated anyone other than maybe some family members, close friends or flippin weirdos reading any of this. It was primarily meant for my entertainment only because I enjoy writing what makes me laugh and I am laughing most days. Even at the most wrong times to be laughing I tend to see the humor in all of my experiences. My daughters know instantly when I am finding humor in something. "OK Dad, what's so funny?" They know me too well. At work people would be wondering what the hell I thought was so funny. "This is serious Paul! Not sure what you find so funny about all this." You know how many times I heard that? All through school I got yelled at - "Wipe that stupid smirk off your face mister!"

Even at my Dad's funeral it happened. I was carrying his ashes around out in the lobby of the church talking with family members. Some were crying. I had a smirk. All I could think of was a time my Dad tried to leap into our old backyard pool with a running start, failing to clear the side with his knees catching the top rail which fell off, bending the side in and starting the rush of water that flooded three backyards and sent water into basements as my Dad got swept away into the grass. Funniest thing I ever witnessed. I got a few odd looks in church as I walked around laughing to myself.

So, when I start to see the humor in something out here I promise I will try to write some of it down for you. Some of you will laugh and some of you will shake your head.


You find all this amusing Mr. Bryan?!

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Rum Stupid

Every now and then yours truly does something stupid. Running a waste pump without opening the exit seacock was one recent blooper. A messy blooper. Sometimes the stupid is the result of ingesting brain toxins. Most of us ingest brain toxins like caffeine, sugar and beer. Some people ingest 150 Proof Grenadian "under the table" Rum with tree bark, seeds, herbs, possibly cannabis and other assorted goodness after climbing a steep hill in the jungle having only eaten a peanut butter sandwich the whole day. That idiot was me. I very seldom drink hard liquor for good reason but for lack of brains I got Rum Stupid.

Jab Jab Village was an event at a makeshift bar/eatery up in the hills. There was beer, rum, food, hiking, dancing, beer, rum.....

I love hiking so after a few beers and some snacks a group of us ventured into the jungle. We had guides. The guides pointed uphill. No shit dude, we're climbing up there? OK, let's go! We climbed. It took a while and it was a good workout. I was parched. I didn't bring water and that was dumb. The good news was there is refreshment at the top of the hill along with a great view. Awesome! Keep going!

After reaching the top we marvelled at the view and took pictures. I was sweaty, thirsty and hungry. The guides opened a bag and out of it came sandwiches? No. Bottled water? No. A jug of 150 proof rum with some nature floating in it? Yes. Shots all around but only some of us (RumDums) decided more was better. "C'mon Pauly have another. Be a man, have another!" Life was good. Pals hanging out in nature drinking island rum overlooking a splendid view. What could be better?

Floating on air. That would definitely be better.

It was time to go downhill for dinner at the Jab Jab Village. I started walking down the hill. Then I started floating. I floated upside down. It was amazing! I was floating down the hill man! How is this happening? Then a face appeared in front of me. Hey, I know that guy. Hi John! Is John floating too? Wait, why am I looking up at John? I heard voices. I saw hands. Magically I was transported to a table next to Debra. A Debra who was looking at me and shaking her head in a concerned and possibly scolding way. What just happened? How did I get here? I wasn't really floating was I?

People were asking me if I was OK. I think I said something but not sure if it made sense. I should just nod. Please God may all the camera batteries in the surrounding 2 miles be dead.

The only thing that was actually floating was my brain. My brain disconnected from my legs to conserve energy or to just be a prick and embarrass me into never doing it again. Lesson learned Mr. Brain. No more rum for me. At least not 150 Proof Grenadian Under The Table Rum with nature floating in it.

Hate to even say it but..

No alcohol for a week after that. Amazingly the next morning there was no hangover and I went on an island tour and had a real monkey on my back.

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Change of scenery

I think It's time for a change of scenery. Let's see if we can get some bitch wings flying over in the other bay.

Amazing how relaxed we are now about other boats anchoring around us. Late yesterday a large money yacht dropped the hook close to us. They were ever so slightly behind us so we let it go but years ago I would have been glaring and shaking my head and telling them to back off. I saw they had a Mantus and they backed down hard on it. First thing I look for is the anchor and the technique. Not that I'm an expert or anything close to that but if I see the French Drop and then they head off in the dinghy to get liqoured up for the evening I'm not going to be happy. I hate having to Prairie Dog them all night while they sleep without a care.

Plenty of stuff that once annoyed us does not bother us anymore. Twenty knot winds, close neighbors, random surprise waste removal, the French (kidding), no quality tofu in the stores, fizzy yellow beer, salads without dressing, hourly 1 minute squalls, rolling anchorages (depends on the amt of roll), people who sail off their anchor ( Do we have to listen to your mainsail beat itself to death while you try to lift your anchor without the engine? Apparently. So now I enjoy seeing your topping lift line beat your sail like a rented mule), boat smell (what boat smell?), locals all wearing pants while you display sticks dangling from cargo shorts, cruisers with clothes the goodwill would not except (or the homeless), Dinghies with the motor lifted (kidding. If our new dinghy gets slashed by a prop from some dipshit who leaves their motor up I cannot guarantee how rationally I will react. No excuse for such stupidity), No wifi (I think it's for the best to take a break every now and then), cruisers racing for port to get a mooring or a good spot ( go for it dude. Burn that fuel).

OK enough rambling. I have chores. We have some traveling to do, if only a few miles east.



Tuesday, November 21, 2017


We have a super heavy duty waste pump. In fact it is so heavy duty that if you forget to open the seacock for the waste to exit and you run the pump it will literally blow the hose right off the pump. Imagine that!

Imagine the cleanup. Imagine what the boat will smell like? Imagine breathing in all the chlorine you've sprayed all over. Imagine all the vinegar you have also sprayed all over. Imagine all those paper towels in garbage bags. Imagine wiping down all the tools you used with chlorine. Imagine digging for the dropped socket hoping not to get cut while feeling around for it. Imagine that's the time when your eye itches really bad.

My fault. I think the lack of quality sleep is giving me brain damage. Also the paranoia of leaving any seacock open doesn't help. The only seacock I leave open is the engine intake and cockpit drain and I check them once a day, usually in the evening because if any shit is going down it's going down at night.

So it's all cleaned up. There really wasn't much. I think my nasal passages are burned from the bleach and water mix I sprayed all over EVERYTHING. I slept pretty good for about two hours last night and then woke up feeling like I needed a bath in hand sanitizer. I eventually fell back to sleep because I didn't smell anything foul and that made me happy, but now I'm thinking that maybe I lost my sense of smell.

The waste system we have works pretty darn good if things are in order. We have a fresh water flush and that works well. No smell and I would like it to stay that way. I hope we got it all cleaned up. Time and smell will tell.

Life on a boat can be really messy sometimes.

Imagine there's no toilet
It's easy if you try
No leaks to assault us
No cleanup to make you cry
Imagine all the sailors living without the smell, Woohoo
Imagine there's no loose hose clamps
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to disinfect or wipe up from
And no infections too
Imagine all the crew living life in fresh air, yoohoo
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And jump in to take an aqua dump
Imagine no waste hoses
I wonder if you can
No need for pumps or macerators
A brotherhood free of the Can
Imagine all the people taking a morning float, you
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the the cruising world will poop as one

It's the lack of sleep people. I'm a danger to the blogosphere at this point.

Monday, October 23, 2017

Sleepless in Trini

There does not appear to be any urgency in getting the boat in the water lately. I am not sure why. Maybe we got a bit lazy. To be honest I have not had much of any drive to get things done. Today I am attacking the engine room with some cleaning and organizing and some engine running. Once this is done then all we have to do is put new bottom paint on and mount some new (used) solar panels. We then head over to another marina to have our tanks cleaned. We have to jump marinas because the guy cleaning the tanks works there plus he needs to weld up a new access hatch in the port tank. He doesn't have the power for the welder in the yard. If you really want to clean a tank you have to get your hands into it and that's why we need big access.

If we were ready to launch today we would not because of the oil spill. What a mess. Hopefully this will vanish soon and we can all go in the water. And when I say "all" I mean a lot of people launching one after another into a harbor with very few mooring balls and poor anchoring. Oye. It's enough to make you want to stay in Grenada for hurricane season. We have thought about it.

So I have been having trouble getting a good nights sleep lately. Some will say, "Get a fucking air conditioner!" but that's not the problem. "More wild monkey like sex?!" That could be the problem but I don't see that happening any time soon unless I die and get reincarnated as a monkey and I'm likely to come back as a short monkey with a big head, which would kill any potential for what I had in mind unless a big head is a turn on in monkeyville. I'm not sure what the problem is with sleeping but I came across a book about sleep that was recently published. It's fascinating. You find out about the chemical process that occurs in your brain throughout the day to keep you in your sleep rhythm. The Circadian Rhythm. I read some of the book yesterday. There are graphs. Graphs of the chemical process that makes you sleepy and the average timing of that chemical release. It was fascinating, but then I laid there awake wondering why the release of Melatonin has not had an affect yet. I'm tired so my circadian rhythm is good but no Melatonin? Why? Is it blocked somehow? Is it a tumor? Fuck!

So I slept a little bit I guess. I'm not sure. At one point I was playing a lead guitar on a Neil Young song so I must have been dreaming. Four in the morning I was wide awake thinking about tumors but now I'm starting to sag a little. I guess I will down a few cups of tea and carry on with engine room work. My eyes are so puffy I look like admiral Ackbar in Star Wars.

My guitar playing has picked up a bit. It's a lot more interesting when jamming with others. There are little tricks and short cuts that I didn't know about that make things easier and fun. And that's why we are out here. It's all about fun. With or without sleep.


It's harder to play while standing. I'll use that as an excuse.