Sunday, November 26, 2017

Change of scenery

I think It's time for a change of scenery. Let's see if we can get some bitch wings flying over in the other bay.

Amazing how relaxed we are now about other boats anchoring around us. Late yesterday a large money yacht dropped the hook close to us. They were ever so slightly behind us so we let it go but years ago I would have been glaring and shaking my head and telling them to back off. I saw they had a Mantus and they backed down hard on it. First thing I look for is the anchor and the technique. Not that I'm an expert or anything close to that but if I see the French Drop and then they head off in the dinghy to get liqoured up for the evening I'm not going to be happy. I hate having to Prairie Dog them all night while they sleep without a care.

Plenty of stuff that once annoyed us does not bother us anymore. Twenty knot winds, close neighbors, random surprise waste removal, the French (kidding), no quality tofu in the stores, fizzy yellow beer, salads without dressing, hourly 1 minute squalls, rolling anchorages (depends on the amt of roll), people who sail off their anchor ( Do we have to listen to your mainsail beat itself to death while you try to lift your anchor without the engine? Apparently. So now I enjoy seeing your topping lift line beat your sail like a rented mule), boat smell (what boat smell?), locals all wearing pants while you display sticks dangling from cargo shorts, cruisers with clothes the goodwill would not except (or the homeless), Dinghies with the motor lifted (kidding. If our new dinghy gets slashed by a prop from some dipshit who leaves their motor up I cannot guarantee how rationally I will react. No excuse for such stupidity), No wifi (I think it's for the best to take a break every now and then), cruisers racing for port to get a mooring or a good spot ( go for it dude. Burn that fuel).

OK enough rambling. I have chores. We have some traveling to do, if only a few miles east.



Tuesday, November 21, 2017


We have a super heavy duty waste pump. In fact it is so heavy duty that if you forget to open the seacock for the waste to exit and you run the pump it will literally blow the hose right off the pump. Imagine that!

Imagine the cleanup. Imagine what the boat will smell like? Imagine breathing in all the chlorine you've sprayed all over. Imagine all the vinegar you have also sprayed all over. Imagine all those paper towels in garbage bags. Imagine wiping down all the tools you used with chlorine. Imagine digging for the dropped socket hoping not to get cut while feeling around for it. Imagine that's the time when your eye itches really bad.

My fault. I think the lack of quality sleep is giving me brain damage. Also the paranoia of leaving any seacock open doesn't help. The only seacock I leave open is the engine intake and cockpit drain and I check them once a day, usually in the evening because if any shit is going down it's going down at night.

So it's all cleaned up. There really wasn't much. I think my nasal passages are burned from the bleach and water mix I sprayed all over EVERYTHING. I slept pretty good for about two hours last night and then woke up feeling like I needed a bath in hand sanitizer. I eventually fell back to sleep because I didn't smell anything foul and that made me happy, but now I'm thinking that maybe I lost my sense of smell.

The waste system we have works pretty darn good if things are in order. We have a fresh water flush and that works well. No smell and I would like it to stay that way. I hope we got it all cleaned up. Time and smell will tell.

Life on a boat can be really messy sometimes.

Imagine there's no toilet
It's easy if you try
No leaks to assault us
No cleanup to make you cry
Imagine all the sailors living without the smell, Woohoo
Imagine there's no loose hose clamps
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to disinfect or wipe up from
And no infections too
Imagine all the crew living life in fresh air, yoohoo
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And jump in to take an aqua dump
Imagine no waste hoses
I wonder if you can
No need for pumps or macerators
A brotherhood free of the Can
Imagine all the people taking a morning float, you
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the the cruising world will poop as one

It's the lack of sleep people. I'm a danger to the blogosphere at this point.

Monday, October 23, 2017

Sleepless in Trini

There does not appear to be any urgency in getting the boat in the water lately. I am not sure why. Maybe we got a bit lazy. To be honest I have not had much of any drive to get things done. Today I am attacking the engine room with some cleaning and organizing and some engine running. Once this is done then all we have to do is put new bottom paint on and mount some new (used) solar panels. We then head over to another marina to have our tanks cleaned. We have to jump marinas because the guy cleaning the tanks works there plus he needs to weld up a new access hatch in the port tank. He doesn't have the power for the welder in the yard. If you really want to clean a tank you have to get your hands into it and that's why we need big access.

If we were ready to launch today we would not because of the oil spill. What a mess. Hopefully this will vanish soon and we can all go in the water. And when I say "all" I mean a lot of people launching one after another into a harbor with very few mooring balls and poor anchoring. Oye. It's enough to make you want to stay in Grenada for hurricane season. We have thought about it.

So I have been having trouble getting a good nights sleep lately. Some will say, "Get a fucking air conditioner!" but that's not the problem. "More wild monkey like sex?!" That could be the problem but I don't see that happening any time soon unless I die and get reincarnated as a monkey and I'm likely to come back as a short monkey with a big head, which would kill any potential for what I had in mind unless a big head is a turn on in monkeyville. I'm not sure what the problem is with sleeping but I came across a book about sleep that was recently published. It's fascinating. You find out about the chemical process that occurs in your brain throughout the day to keep you in your sleep rhythm. The Circadian Rhythm. I read some of the book yesterday. There are graphs. Graphs of the chemical process that makes you sleepy and the average timing of that chemical release. It was fascinating, but then I laid there awake wondering why the release of Melatonin has not had an affect yet. I'm tired so my circadian rhythm is good but no Melatonin? Why? Is it blocked somehow? Is it a tumor? Fuck!

So I slept a little bit I guess. I'm not sure. At one point I was playing a lead guitar on a Neil Young song so I must have been dreaming. Four in the morning I was wide awake thinking about tumors but now I'm starting to sag a little. I guess I will down a few cups of tea and carry on with engine room work. My eyes are so puffy I look like admiral Ackbar in Star Wars.

My guitar playing has picked up a bit. It's a lot more interesting when jamming with others. There are little tricks and short cuts that I didn't know about that make things easier and fun. And that's why we are out here. It's all about fun. With or without sleep.


It's harder to play while standing. I'll use that as an excuse.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Boat yards and Buckets - Trini

Up the ladder. Down the ladder. Up the ladder. Down the ladder. It's annoying as hell but it's a fact of life when you are living on the dirt. Right now we are waiting on a contractor to quote us on tank cleaning. We want our port tank removed and cleaned properly as it's always been a sludge bucket since we bought the boat. So we wait in the dirt.

We are not really sitting on dirt as you know it. When I first saw what we were sitting on I thought it was petrified goose poop but actually it's old crushed coral and shells plus dirt and gravel. This area must have been reclaimed from the sea a long time ago. You walk around in your flip flops and pointy shells stick in them and sometimes through and into your heel. It's basically unsuitable for flip flops. When I am working under the boat I wear my hiking boots. If I wear sandals the small shells and stone always get trapped under my foot.

One of the gross parts of living on the dirt is bathroom time. Nobody wants to take a dump in their boat because there is no place for it to go except the ground or in your holding tank. Neither is a good option so we visit the bathrooms obviously. Lucky for us the bathrooms here are very clean and most people keep them that way. The gross part I am talking about is the pee bucket. Yes, the pee bucket. That 2 AM pee break when you are not fully awake but basically sleep walking can be a dangerous event as you crawl down the ladder in just your boxer shorts or pajamas and walk across crushed coral and open mouthed and laughing security guards on your way to the bathroom, so you utilize a bucket.

The problem with the bucket is that you have to empty it. People are very discreet with their buckets. At first I was wondering if we were the only people that pee at night. It didn't make sense. Most people here are our age and older and the younger ones party most nights so there is no way they can make it all night without relieving themselves unless they are all androids which I have pondered based on observations. There's definitely some bucket dumping going on and if you get up early enough you can see a few stealthy people creeping around. I know this is gross but if anyone was going to talk about it it's me I guess.

Our first night on the hard in the boat and I was thinking, "I'm not going down a ladder at 2am to take a piss. It's bucket time." Deb just looked at me and I recall her putting her hand on her head and mumbling something about hating the boatyard. It's a very unattractive part of our life. OK, there are many unattractive parts of this life like when I replace the joker valve on the toilet. Our toilet has to pump uphill a bit before gravity takes hold. What I'm saying is, you better make sure it's all fresh water left in that section of hose before you pull that valve out. Speaking from experience here. There will be other sailors out there wondering why I even mention some of these things but it needs to be talked about so we can separate the people from the human like droids. Seriously though didn't you ever wonder where all the people pee at night?

One of the other problems with being in the boatyard is having a spiffy boat next to you. I always hope we get matched up with boats of our kind. You know, the older, weathered and ridden hard boats that are sturdy but not too flashy. Ha! Never happens. We always get placed next to people who clean their boats crevices with a toothbrush and polish everything to a blinding shine. They have pallets at the base of their ladder for their yard shoes and trays of water to wash their feet in. There is an older classic yacht next to us that is spit shined every day. They have white canvas. They wear white clothes. Their hair is even white! We have Mr and Mrs Clean next door. They are very sweet and friendly and they take very good and meticulous care of their boat. It's annoying.

We impressed the hell out of them the other night after Deb and I had a few beers in the cockpit with the bug candles going and some snacks to munch on. We even had some tunes on low volume. It was a fun night but we forgot about the beer cans. About 2 am (bucket time) the wind picked up and the cans blew off the deck into the cockpit. It was one hell of a noise at that hour. We both giggled a bit at the racket outside and when morning came I gathered up the wind chimes from the floor only to see Mrs Clean wiping down the deck of their boat. Good morning she said with a slight smirk. Good morning I grumbled to the sound of crushing cans. They love us.

I don't know if we will ever be at the level that some of these folks are at with their boats. Ours will be shiny and clean when she hits the water and there are a lot of things we would like to improve but right now we spend money carefully and on items that are required to function out here. The pretty stuff will come later when we hop on the social security trail and have some extra cash to throw at this old boat. In the meantime all of us pretty and worn, new and old, clean white and faded blue, sit in the yard and sit at anchor with the same view, the same experiences and the same buckets.


Actually, they have a nicer bucket too :(

Friday, September 29, 2017

Things they never told us - Blogs Die and there will be Naked People

"I got up early today. I washed my face, had some tea and read a book. The rain stopped and we went someplace. See pics"

When you read something like that you know the blog is dead. The blogger has no will to type anything of any worth or interest to anyone. The comment section is dead aside for some Ad selling cream to boost your manhood. How does this happen? They were so interesting at one time? Well, as far as I can tell life for them has become routine and there isn't much to write home about. If you are sailing around the Islands for a few years the pictures become the same and the people and boats become the same. Pretty soon your blog posts all become the same.

"Here's a photo of the mango tree on the hill along the way to Customs for the third time. Here's me holding up a mango next to my big head. I have a different hat this year."

When it gets to this point and even your wife stops reading the blog then it might be time to sail someplace different or to maybe get out more and do some different things like visit another mango tree.

It's not a mango next to my big head but if you see this pic again
next season with a different shirt then the blog is dead.

I have seen many blogs fade away like this. Some blogs I used to follow are now years old and you wonder if they died or drowned. No, they just got bored telling you the same old shit all the time or they moved to facebook to post one picture and a few words. WELL, this will not happen here. Even if we, the crew of Kelly Nicole become too boring to write about I will just make shit up.

"As we teetered on the edge of the volcano after sneaking around the barriers I stopped to take a photo of our travelling companions who were excited to be reviving their blog with a volcano pic. Out of nowhere a goat came flying into my view and knocked Gregorio into the volcano! He clung to the edge on a branch coughing until one of his Keens started melting giving him the strength to pull himself up enough for us to grab him! The goat was lost in a quick puff of smoke and a final half bleat."

See how easy that was?

I hope it doesn't come to that (maybe it has). There is enough going on in this cruising life to at least entertain the few people that still have me in their feed reader. By the way, thanks for the comments and letting me know you are still here. The best blogs are the few you visit but really don't know why. It's like something bad you don't want to see but can't stop looking. This is that blog.

So now that you know I will be around for a while let's talk about naked people. I really just added "Naked People" to the title to get you to visit the blog one more time and I think it worked but now I am feeling a bit guilty about that little trick so let's do a few paragraphs related to full exposure cruising.

Before we cruised we experienced nakedness while sailing the Great Lakes. The French Canadians love to get naked and jump in the water. Great Lakes water is cold. Cold water has a negative affect on impressiveness. The people did not care. At first it was a shocking reaction on both parties. "Shit! This water is cold!" (Merde! Cette eau est froide!) and "Holy shit those people are naked!". You try not to stare but you do. Then they stare back. Then you look away. Then you see them in the bar. Awkward. Now we see so many people naked that it's to the point where I might say, "Balls overboard!" or "Floating wrinkles!" and no one really cares or looks and we carry on. Amazing what you get used to but you have to because there are so many naked people around.

As soon as we see a German flag arrive we know they will be naked as soon as the anchor is set. The French pour wine first, then get naked. Americans? They hardly ever take their shirts off let alone pants. I can't get into every nations full exposure habits when in harbour because I would get into trouble. You never know who's reading and I don't need boats sailing past KN mooning me or showing me their junk in retaliation. There are some highlights in Naked People sightings though that need to be mentioned.

One day working on the bow I heard splashing water and thought some fish was feeding alongside. No, it was a naked guy snorkeling past the boat. Startling image when you're not expecting it. Before I looked away he did a back stroke to say "Hello". Thanks pal. Awkward wave. He continued to swim alongside all the boats at anchor.

One calm morning I made some coffee and grabbed the tablet for some reading in the cockpit to watch the sun rise. I made myself comfortable and as I took the first sip my eyes met the eyes of a large older hairy dude on the stern of the boat next to us covered in soap and completely naked. I nodded "Good Morning" and then realized he was soaping his dong. Yes, he was actively and in my opinion enjoying too much the soaping of his dong. I spun around fast enough to spill some coffee and decided the sun rise was not that important today. He actually started singing softly as I started laughing quietly until I heard a big splash. Not wanting to stick around for the rinse and dry cycle I went below to get another cup.

The worst is when you drive by in the dinghy and slow down to say hello then realize too late that it's bath time. Sorry, have a nice day. Don't forget behind the ears.

I guess I didn't expect all these naked bodies next to us in these harbors. The large yacht full of naked super models has not shown up yet so I just ignore all the splashing, giggling and soap bubbles now. It's just become the normal with the exception of naked snorkeling. Some day I may join them (Deb says please no) and see what that freedom feels like in the water. For now I will keep my pants on and rest assured there will be no soapy dongs on our stern. No place to sit on our transom anyway.

Thanks for reading and hanging in there.

Guitar work continues. Sporadic at times but I see improvement. Not ready for public humiliation.