Friday, May 20, 2016

A day in the life. Guadeloupe

We spent almost a week in Deshaies (Dey Hey) Guadeloupe. Nice little town. I would like to see it again but for now we have to keep trucking south and skip some stuff along the way. When we got to this place I asked Deb about the moorings they had for cruisers. She said they put in quite a few and we should have no problem. Ha! Most of the moorings were taken by local boats, charters and fishermen, so there goes the free moorings. "Hey Harbor Master, how about you limit time on a mooring to one week!" Really turns my crank to see local boats rot on a mooring. Normally I would not care because we anchor most of the time but this harbour is deep. When we got here the harbor was full, and there was a tall ship anchored right in the middle of the damn place.

This was probably our worst display of anchoring ever. We roamed around the anchorage looking for a spot and all the bitch wings came out and watched us. We found a spot that looked not too bad and the captain of the tall ship came out on his bow and gave us his best fat gut and dirty t-shirt bitch wings. Oh piss off pal! So we dropped the hook in front of them and Deb put her in neutral waiting for the Mantus to catch. I dropped 100 feet in 45 ft of water and we drifted back. I let out another 50 and we drifted back. Nothing. Another 50 and waited. We just drifted away. She never caught. Son of a beach!

We went around again and Deb suggested another spot by the rocks behind some cats. OK cool. We dropped and dragged the Mantus all over a pile of rocks below. Mother Fudger! We drifted away.

Third try we lined up next to the bitch wings tall ship captain again and dropped in 45 ft of water. This time I had Deb keep the boat stationary until I had about 3 to 1. We then let her drift back and she stuck. I then let out about 275 feet of chain. We never moved for 6 days. We really need to be more bold when looking for a spot and not worry about all the little bitches that don't want you around.

So today we raised that big anchor and the 275 feet of chain. We have the manual windlass as you probably know. One crank gets me 6 inches of chain. So we timed the anchor lift today. Took me 15 minutes to raise the anchor and secure it including removing the snubber. Not too bad. My heart was beating like a bunny rabbit when I was done though. Geez. I have a feeling I will die at the bow pulpit with my hand on the crank. Not MY crank, THE crank. Wonder how many guys die with their hands on THEIR crank? Embarassing. Not for him he's dead but...

I walked back to the cockpit breathing hard and sat down for a few seconds before I had to raise the main. I am really out of shape. None of this used to bother me at all and now I am sucking wind trying to recover. Shame. Probably should change my lifestyle a bit. Maybe walk more or switch to a light beer. Wait, the beers can't get any lighter! Really this beer is awful down here. OK, maybe beer is not the focal point here. Maybe some stretching and pushups, situps, lifting jerry jugs and squat thrusts. Remember squat thrusts from gym class? I don't even know what they are any more. My gym teacher was a squat thruster and was also my track coach. Yes I ran track. Shut up. This guy also taught electric shop which I took. It wasn't a nerd class back then. It was cool. So was I. No not really. So one day gym/track/shop teacher/coach is taking apart a TV and showing us the guts. He says never touch the back of the cathode ray tube because you will get shocked. Well doesn't the d
touch the back of the CRT and send himself flying against the wall! We all stood around him looking down at his stunned body. One kid ran. I watched him try to get up while supressing a huge laugh about to burst. "You think this is funny Bryan!" From that day onward coach drove me hard in track practice and in gym I was always the demo dummy. "Show them how it's done Bryan!". What a prick. He made me demo rope climbing. I don't think they do that today after so many kids fell from the ceiling. He thought he had me on this one but I climbed it like a reesus monkey with his ass on fire. Not sure if monkeys know the Stop, Drop and Roll routine. I bet they just climb while on fire. I was all smug while dangling up there but I had a problem coming down and burned my inner thighs on the rope while catching a knot in the balls. We used to wear those short shorts for gym and my thighs were bleeding and girls were laughing while I turrned red with pain and my hands stuffed in my crotc

So where was I? Exercise! That's right. I need more exercise. Squat thrusts. Somebody look that up and get back to me. I have no internets.

We had us a motor sail today. What a friggin surprise. We did 40 miles with the main up and the old Yanmar singing its tune. Not a bad ride really. Was all Peaceful Easy Feeling early on and then we got to the end of Guadeloupe and it was all Welcome to the Jungle and then once we got to the Saintes it was, Looks like we Made It.

We picked up a mooring and are resting easy. Captain Pauly made some potato leek soup because we scored some huge leeks in Deshaies. The thought of anchoring again after the hauling of 275 feet of chain gave me a pain in the back so I am very happy to be spending $13 a day and not having to worry about the damn anchor. It will be nice to go a few days without pulling my crank. THE crank. Sorry.

Tomorrow we will explore the town take a few pictures, maybe get some pizza, maybe do a few squat thrusts.


God, I have Barry manilow stuck in my head. Make it stop!

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Thursday, May 19, 2016

Hello there

Oh hey! How are you? Just wanted to chat a bit while we sit at anchor in Guadeloupe. I know! Can you believe we are in Guadeloupe? I just learned how to spell Guadeloupe! Everyone here speaks French. I thought we would be hated but we picked up some phrases and we took our "French for cruisers book" with us and so far the people here do not want to punch us in the face.

Everything is good so far except for the fact that they eat dinner real late. Well, late for us. We wanted pizza but the gal at the restaurant said not until 4pm. OK. We popped over at 5 pm and the sign outside said no pizza until 6:30. Damn! We had drinks and went back to the boat for an egg sandwich on a garlic toasted baguette with a slice of melted swiss. Yes life can be hard. Pizza! I want it now! Typical Americans. We think we can just get stuff when we want it or we go somewhere else. Not here. You have to roll with it baby. Yes thats a song. Steve Winwood I think. Maybe it was a cover. I never liked his voice. I could take one song from him and thats it. Bob Dylan, who is one heck of songwriter really got to my brain. I never understood what the hell he was saying anyway. If you know his songs you will be OK at a concert but if not then its all just nasal congestion into a mic.

On the way down we thought hey, we get to St Martin and life's a reach! Nope. On the nose all the way to Statia. OK from here to St Kitts it's a reach! Nope, on the nose and nasty. Well, from here to Montserratt it should be not too bad. Hell no! Turned back. Next day we did it but it was still just off the nose. Reach to Guadeloupe!! Um, well not quite. More like a trip through a washing machine. So WTF is going on? Why are we still beating into the wind?

Part of the problem is our deadline. June 1st we should be in the Grenadines. This forces us to go when we really do not want to go. The other problem is mother freaking nature who apparently does not like us anymore. Can't say as I blame her but you know Mom I could really use a beam reach here every now and then. This would really help my attitude a bit and I might think twice about buying the shampoo with the beads. Kidding, I would never buy shampoo with micro beads. What the hell kind of crap is that anyway? Micro beads of plastic that do what to your hair? People are stupid.

We are sailing to Isle Des Saintes tomorrow. Supposedly there are a huge number of mooring balls because the place blows for anchoring. I have low expectations. Supposedly there were moorings here as well but all the local boats scooped them up. Must be nice to have a free mooring for your charter business.

We are having fun despite what you read sometimes. Ninety nine percent of the time we are smiling and laughing. At least I am. Debra might be at 89%. Something about the smiling jackass she married. I have to admit I have my grumpy moments but it never lasts more than a day. All it takes is a French boat next to us stripping down to total nakedness and jumping in the water to snap me out of my funk. I can't help it it's funny. In St Martin there was this older dude who was soaping his balls while sitting on his scooped transom. Hard not to notice that. You look away and laugh but then you look again because WHO DOES THAT! The other day this boat with two guys and one gal decided to frolic a bit. You try not to notice but then the gal did a little dance on the boat naked before jumping in. Wow. Wish I could be that free. I guess I just worry about the lure.

Interesting tibit: Since we entered the Caribbean Sea we averaged approx 2.5 gals of diesel burned each day. Pretty much tripled what we used in the Bahamas on the way here. We basically sailed the Bahamas. We basically motor sailed the Caribe.

Pushing on to Grenada where we will chill for a month and then we hop to Trini for a haulout and a flight back to the US.

Good talking to ya.

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