Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Bug Sex

I kept hearing a buzzing or whining sound when we were at anchor just south of the Alligator Pungo Canal. It was dark and I went into the cockpit to get one last look at the chartplotter before I turned in. As I stood there listening to that whining it sounded like a group of crotch rocket motorcycles in the distance. I thought, damn if it doesn't sound like a lot of bugs. I better make this fast. I lit up the chartplotter and checked our position and then THE SWARM descended upon me. What the hell! The chartplotter was covered in bugs. I jumped up and thats when I realized that the entire bimini was covered in mosquito like bugs. In fact, the entire boat was covered in them! I was covered in them! I shook em off and dove down below and closed up quickly hoping by morning they would go away. None were biting and the few that got below were easily killed. All night they buzzed and whined, but I slept easy. Just harmless bugs. Meh.

I woke up and crawled out of bed in my zombie walk to the propane tank so I can heat up some tea. Must. Have.Tea. When I got to the tank I realized I was standing in a bug filled orgy of epic proportions. No. Biblical proportions! Every inch of the deck and cabin top was covered in green goo and dead bugs. It looked like the Jolly Green Giant had explosive diarrhea all over the boat. Son of a biiiiitch! I really can't explain the shock of what I saw. It was everywhere!

I ran for a bucket with bugs all around me and started splashing the deck. I tried to wash off as much as I could but it was futile. Shit was everywhere. The deck was stained. It was going to need scrubbing and probably some rubbing out. Hard to describe how I felt. It was one of those verbal moments where you make up fking swear words quietly and you curse the boat, the bugs, the place and you finally call yourself a friggin idiot for thinking this cruising life was such a god damn great idea. I finally yelled for Debra to help me up here. "Hey Deb, come look at what all the buzz was about last night!" We cleaned up what we could but it was like cleaning up after woodstock. It would never be totally clean. I did finally calm down and warned Deb that we would be scrubbing the boat once we got to the dock in Oriental. I had to clean it. I couldn't stand it.

This is after we threw buckets of water on it.

I watched some of the little bastards in action. They would jump on each other for a little bit and then one would fly away, soon to be replaced with another humper. When the one getting humped would move a little there was a green spot left behind. Imagine how much action it would take to coat a whole deck in enough green spots to where it was running a green river down the deck. Disgusting.

With as much cleaning as we could do without a hose we got under way. Later Deb brought up lunch. A veggie wrap in a green spinach tortilla. Really? No thank you. I'll just eat some fritos.

We carried the little bastards with us all the way to Oriental NC where we hosed down the boat and scrubbed the whole damn thing with a stiff brush. There was a dead pool of bugs behind the boat. Next step is to rub out the green spots and re-wax.

One thing I failed to mention. We had those solar powered lights hanging on the lifelines at night. They are nice for coming back to the boat in the dark or when you have to go out on deck at night. Not so nice in those bug filled anchorages. Just saying.

Life on a boat.


I still think this cruising life is great, despite the bug orgies.

1 comment:

  1. Reminds me of the Corps Bugs at or old Lake Carlyle. ewwwwww.

    S/V Kintala