Monday, September 19, 2016

Morning Tea. Ocala Florida. USA

Morning Tea posts are a brain dump to the blog. Whatever pops into my head at the time I am writing this goes into this post. OK, not everything. You definitely do not want to read everything that pops into my head. I would need an anonymous blog for that. 

Well here we go...

There is something wrong with starting your morning seeing your Mother-in-law's 87 yr old boyfriend walk through the kitchen to the garage in his not so tighty whitey's. Boxers dude! He looks like he stole them from a Sumo wrestler.

We are in Central Floriduh visiting Mom. There is zero breeze here.

I have been going outside in the early morning hours to do my Internet thing and have a tea.

Sitting at the breakfast table covered in sweat after just cooking everyone eggs is not very appetizing to the consumers.

I figured out that all the sweating is coming from the BP pills I have been taking as half of it is a water pill. Damn.

Unfortunately I am probably already known as the little sprinkler so I will have to prove to my cruising pals that I am no longer sweating like a cold can of beer.

Our re-entry to the States was immediate and somewhat shocking as we landed at JFK and then had to go through security again to get to Rochester. Everyone is a potential threat and you are treated as such.

Nothing worse for a food service worker at JFK than a undecided, slow and easy going chill person trying to decide on a coffee flavor and size then just asking for a small regular cream no sugar.

I was overwhelmed with all the selections.

A Greek salad at a brew pub. Dreams do come true.

When you are at a Brew Pub in the south and you ask for soup and salad you might be asked for your man card. So you order a heavy stout and one of those T-shirts with the cloaked death skeleton holding a beer.

Being vegetarian is not very manly. Good thing I don't care what other people think.

Call me paranoid but I never go through the scanners at the airports. The metal detectors of course but the body scanners, no way.

When you "Opt out" at the airport they yell it all over the place, especially JFK. "We have an opt out here! Opt out! Got a friggin opt out over hear!" I then get patted down in front of everyone while my pants start slipping away because I have no belt. "Sir hold up your pants." You told me to keep my arms out and palms up. "You can use one hand to hold up your pants." Oops, there they go. "Sir I got one word for you. Boxers."

Poor William Shatner. He opted out and during the pat down his pants fell to his knees.

I still can't believe we have a friggin car. We think we got a good deal on a Acura sedan. We needed something with good resale for January. Hopefully this happens but I would not mind if we just kept it for next season when we return.

I retired from GM and this is our first import in quite a while. GM stole my retirement so I feel zero shame in buying this car. I never recommend them either. Bastards.

The price of cars is insane. Imagine mass transit in all our towns.

Imagine Congress doing something. Anything.

This is a lengthy return trip for us. Baby girl is coming in December so we will stick around for the holidays. Flying back and forth from Trinidad and living on the hard was not an option ($$).

Car rentals long term are very expensive.

Did you know that some car dealers rent vehicles for half what the cheapest rental company charges? We found out after we bought the car. Doh!

Our kids are awesome for letting us bunk at their homes for a while. I brought plenty of boxers.

Our friends are awesome as well for letting us stay at their homes. Hey guys are we staying at your homes? Guys? Hello?

We rented a cottage for the winter months we will be spending in Western NY. Our friends need to be spared. Was it the snoring or the tighty whiteys?

After reserving the cottage and putting down a non-refundable deposit I was asked if the place had heat. Uh, I don't know. They have a gas furnace for the living room and space heater for the bedrooms. I never really gave it any thought as I assumed anything in that part of the country had heat. Space heaters. Oye.

I wonder if I can still drive in snow.

Snow. Shoot me now.

I think we will take the Grandkids snow tubing.

I wonder if our insurance covers back injuries out of state.

Why is everyone here in the US in such a hurry?

No one here is really going anywhere.

In Trinidad it is customary after entering a place of business to greet everyone. Good Morning! In the US you look like a kook if you do this. I got a lot of side glances and no return greeting at a Dunkin Donuts.

As soon as we got to the US we caught a cold. Deb got it bad. Deb always refers to the power of positive thinking to stay so healthy. She then caught some other thing that I think the kids shared, viral bronchitis.

The power of negative thought and defeatism kept me safe from the viral part. I just had the sniffles though I told everyone I was going to die from viral whatever. Deb could not help smirking at the power of negative thinking and paranoia. Maybe it was an eye roll and not a smirk.

I am not a pancake person.

The coffee sucks in the US.

Breakfast is a small meal for me. Caffeine and citrus. Maybe a slice of leftover cold pizza.

Everyone is picking on my eating habits here in FL. "You eat like a bird!"

After sitting in McDonalds for an hour using the wifi and watching the people come and go I am going to continue eating like a bird.

Pawl Pawl Pawl.

Never wear shorts on a plane. Nobody wants to see those skinny legs.

I paused in writing this to take a shower and I had some good material while in there. I completely lost the thought after I got out.

A small waterproof voice recorder should be standard for all showers. Hell we could be off fossil fuels and might actually have flying cars by now if we all could record those shower ideas.

Everyone loves vegetarian meals until you tell them that's all you are cooking all week.

I actually ate some pork the other day. I cooked a tenderloin for our hosts and I noticed it wasn't gobbled up with smiles and requests for more so I tried it. I thought it was fantastic! I put a salt, pepper and brown sugar rub on it. Nicely caramelized on the outside and super tender inside. The pig did not die in vain.

No, I am not craving meat because I tasted a dead cooked pig.

If you refrigerate onions they will go easy on the eyes when you cut them.

We went to get our eyes examined and got new glasses in Grenada. My eyes improved! How about that! I dumped the bifocals and now have a cheap pair of reading glasses that I rarely use depending on the font size. I mostly drive without glasses now.

We went to the dentist for a cleaning and checkup in Trini. My teeth were in good shape and no bleeding gums. So they improved as well.

There is less sugar in foods outside the USA

I think overall the sailing/cruising lifestyle is pretty healthy for us.

We have yet to see a dermatologist so I will retract the last statement.

I drink more beers while on a boat. They just go together.

I am totally amazed at the number of grouchy Americans sailing around the Caribe.

Speaking of grouchy Americans why is everyone here so angry?

It appears that a lot of angry white males shown on TV speak in incomplete sentences and most have a Goatee or Van Dyke beard and a beer gut.

I'm thinking of shaving, cutting back on the brews and increasing my vocabulary.

Today I saw a phone hanging on a wall. Amazing.

The new iPhone is here! The new iPhone is here! Get a life.

I wonder if I sound old like a neighborhood get off my lawn type.

Did you see the kid who was 1st in line to get a new iPhone and then dropped it during an interview? Priceless.

I put on a safety orange shirt before going for a walk the other day.

I really miss biking. Nicole lets me use her bike she won at work. It's a coca cola beach bike. I rode it around her neighborhood a few times. I'm a rolling billboard for a sugary soft drink. "There goes the coke man!" could be misinterpreted.

The older you get the louder your TV.

"Toe ring? Who has a toe ring?" No, I said the PHONE IS RINGING!

You have a watermaker? So it makes drinking water from salt water? You have to run a generator? It takes hours? Huh. I like to just turn the faucet and water just comes out.

I read where a central floriduh fertilizer plant had a sinkhole open up under their waste storage tank and 250 million gals of animal waste just flooded the main aquifer for all of Florida.

I really am impressed with musicians that taught themselves to play without youtube.

Does anyone actually sit down and look at old photos very often?

Maybe the reason you watch the "news" so much when you get older is because you are trying to justify the fact that you do not leave the house. Scary out there you know. Terror!

My Mother-in-law is one tough woman.

The news is scary. Scary music. Scary scenes. Flashing emergency vehicles. People talking seriously. People crying. Men with guns. Shooters. Victims. "Honey are all the doors locked? I see a black man out there." That's Bob dear. He's our neighbor.s

I went out to get a coffee the other morning and everyone was white. It was a weird feeling.

In the Islands we see school kids in uniform laughing and joking as they walk home from school. The laughter of children is a nice sound that puts a smile on your face.

In the US we see a bright yellow bus open and a blur of a child running to the house and the slam of a door.

I am trying not to wake people up but the microwave is so damn friggin loud. Why does it have to alarm so much when the time expires? WTF!

Just sitting here thinking and I see on the wall by the door a rack where 6 sets of keys are hanging. On the boat there is one key for the engine. For some reason the keys stand out as the difference between our lives and others on land. Keys.

I need more tea. Be right back

Houses with air conditioning are kept dark. Dark houses have fake plants.

One of the best things about approaching an Island is the smell of the flowers.

I had to change two diapers so far. Very unpleasant.

So I hear anti-bacterial soap does nothing and is actually harmful. What a surprise.

Since our return I noticed people have a short attention span.

So you sailed all the way to South America! Awesome. Tell us about your trip! You have 20 seconds.

Is my voice boring to listen to? Do I sound like Ferris Bueller's teacher. Bueller?

People tell me I sound different over the phone. No. I sound taller.

I called into a meeting once and people didn't know it was me. The manager wanted to know who was speaking. They were shocked it was me. Your voice is deeper. "Well, I wore boxers today." Some people spit out their coffee.

Winter in Western NY is going to be a bad flashback.

Our Grandkids are funny. They are little comedians.

We really missed our family

We really miss our home

We can't afford to live here.

Home is on the boat at sea.

posted from Bloggeroid


  1. I like your morning tea posts.
    Florida has never given us anything but grief. We have no desire to be there. None.
    I, too, opt out. 100% of the time. I don't care what other people do. They can feel me up all day long but I'm not going through that damn body scanner. I have some kind of dignity left.
    Yes, coming home to your own country will make you feel like a criminal waiting to be discovered.
    I'm encouraged that your eyes are better. I can only hope.
    I am disgusted with GM, but that's a long term problem. And very sorry that they stole your retirement. Sucks loudly.
    Turn off the TV.
    When Mike retires early and we leave, we won't be able to afford to live here, either. It scares the shit out of me.

  2. I love your morning tea posts too :-)

    When I came back to the States one of the things that stuck out was how sweet everything was. Even whole wheat bread tasted like it had been dipped in a sugar bowl.

  3. Ha ... love your posts! Hope you stay warm this winter, and the image of your mother-in-law's boyfriend in not-so "tighty whitey's" fades away!

  4. Found your blog from The Cynical Sailor above. It is 11:15pm and I get up at 6am for work and don't know how the hell I am going to sleep after reading her blog, and now this.
    Tomorrows going to be tough, but who cares. It was worth it.